Category Archives: Truth

Thank you. You are too kind

So. Here I sit. On the train. Typing on my traveltop; that’s my netbook, I call it that because I normally only use it when I am away on holiday. I am not on holiday today. Today I just wanted to write. I’ve been wanting to write for some time but just haven’t sat down to do it, until now.

There’s quite a lot I wanted to write about. One of the topics being my adequacy as a developer and the adequacy of myself in general. But… I mostly forgot what it was I wanted to say. I know when I originally thought it, it was stunningly profound.

Something else I wanted to write about was the duality of self, of my self. I read in Stephen King’s book, On Writing, that you should not use language that does not “fit” you. I believe I follow his advice in most cases when I write. What I’ve noticed that the words that “fit” when I write are different to the words that “fit” when I speak. I would never verbally use the word vocation but when writing, talking about my vocation feels natural. It’s interesting that my vocabulary should change depending on the medium of communication. Then again, the more I think about it, considering the little I’ve learned about brain function, it seems perfectly normal that your vocabulary should change when medium of communication changes.

I remember now what it was I wanted to say. I constantly battle with myself and my self, trying to figure out if I am good at what I do or just above average.

I have always thought of myself as being bad at things or at least not good enough. And when I do get complements, I frequently brush it off because “they don’t know what they are talking about as they are laymen” or if they do know what they are talking about, “they don’t have enough specific knowledge on the niche area of the subject that they are somehow misinformed” or even simply “just mistaken”. Take an example, being a developer, Dev Leads, Tech Leads, peers, even a few Technical Directors have told me that my skills are valuable. And the vast majority of every company I have worked for has asked me to come back and work for them again, stay on longer or asked me to come on full time. Some of those companies are even well known for having a really strict hiring policy. Somehow even after all that positive affirmation, I still don’t think I am worth my weight in salt (I wonder what I would do with 80kg [£69.34] of salt).

Anyway, I realised something the other day. I’ve always compared myself to people better than me. I’m not sure if all people do this, but with me, I only compare myself to people better than me, or at least people who I think are better than me or have a skill I want or am envious of. If someone isn’t better, they won’t feature on my personal scale of comparison. I am generalising but do you realise what that means? On my scale, I’m always worse than everyone else. If the scale was based on 1 – 10, I’m always a 1. How crazy is that shit?

I think it’s sad that this is how I choose to define myself. Now that I know about it, I think I can change this. I don’t know if this is normal. Is this normal? I don’t think it can good for the self-esteem. It does explain some aspects about myself though. For a start, it explains is how I am unable to accept a compliment: If in the past I received a complement, in my head I appreciated your kindness anyway and thanked you, almost always in an awkward way.

How do I fix this? How do you change a mindset? Is actively knowing about it and being aware enough?

Update: I saw this online today, looks like it’s a part of the human condition.

aBqoY

 

Motorola Droid Bionic [pics] – Unlock Hidden Functionality

The Motorola Droid Bionic. The latest feature to be added to the Motorola Droid Bionic, the company’s new flagship smart phone, is the ability to fuck you in the ass. I know some of you may be thinking: “Finally! Smart phones have finally reached the pinnacle of human technology!” The truth is this is nothing new. This feature has been included in many of Motorola’s older products including the original Motorola Droid, the great-great-grandfather of Motorola Droid Bionic. It’s not common knowledge, but this feature can be unlocked on nearly all of Motorola’s mobile products, including the soon-to-be-released Motorola Droid Bionic.

The best part about accessing this functionality is that you don’t have to root your phone, you don’t have to download an app. It already comes standard with the phone and will DEFINITELY be included in the Motorola Droid Bionic.

You may be wondering how you can do this on your phone. Well, I was one of the first people to get hold of and become a proud owner of the original Motorola Droid. I’ve been really happy with it. I shouted its praises at anyone willing to listen. Imagine my joy in finding new abilities on an old piece of hardware that I already thought was amazing.

Anyways enough teasing. In then next few paragraphs I will explain to you how to unlock this functionality so that your own Motorola phone can fuck you in the ass. So without further ado:

Unlock the ability to get fucked in the ass with the Motorola Droid Bionic

Motorola Droid Bionic - The fuck machine
  • Step 1: Use your phone as normal.
  • Step 2: Wait for a fault that you yourself are unable to fix.
  • Step 3: Send it to the repair centre listed on Motorola’s own website.
  • Step 4: Hear nothing. Wait a week.
  • Step 5: Phone the customer centre. Listen to them tell you they have no idea where your phone is… even though it was tracked and you can see that someone has signed for it.
  • Step 6: Send a few emails, wait a week.
  • Step 7: They find your phone and email you to tell you they will send you a quote.
  • Step 8: Wait for the quote, receive nothing.
  • Step 9: Call them up. Get told you’ve already been sent a quote and they have been waiting on you all this time.

That’s it! You’ve been fucked in the ass. As you can see it comes standard with every Motorola phone.

The best part is the feature has lasting effect and with the last few steps probably being:

  • Step 10: Pay through you teeth for this shitty service.
  • Step 11: Maybe get your phone back.

SBE Ltd UK, the company behind Motorola’s customer service, is shit. LG uses them too as does T-Mobile. If you can, avoid these companies at all costs. This is NOT an isolated incident. Support is a big part of the product. If you don’t have good support, you don’t have a good product.

Fuck you, a lot.

Fuck Take2.co.za Errata

Update: For those posting comments, it’s my blog. That means only I get to be a dick. If you are not going to be civil and try to attack me or the others in the comments, your comment won’t get approved. If you do that, I will might change your comment to make you look like an asshole and then approve it. If you really want to be a dick, get your own blog, be a dick over there. :)

This is in regards to my original take2.co.za post I have the following to Note:

This was over 4 years ago, so it may not be fair to still hold this against them. A current employee of Take 2 has contacted me and told me that management has changed since then. If management has changed it may be fair to assume that how they treat customers has changed. I hope so but I would like to claim I have the courage convictions and say that I won’t be going back to find out.

 

The story behind this post:

I was contacted by an employee of Take2 in connection with this post. What they said can be seen in the comments of the post in question but I will post them here for ease or reading:

Are you banned from buying from us.. Cos you can’t hold a Grudge like that forever everyone makes mistakes including you we are all human..

Just so you know Take2 has new owners so their is always time to start off on a clean slate.

I replied with:

Yes, this WAS over four years ago, different management, whatever. When the company was taken over, you took over the good AND the bad.

It’s not a grudge, it’s my strategy for survival. I am a very fair person and it takes me a very long time to put people on my shit list but if they DO happen get on the list they never get off. I have that same philosophy with “friends”, acquaintances and business partners. It’s make sure the influences around me are positive.

Having said that, your refund policies may have changed but I am not willing to use your services again and find out. So to be fair, I will post an errata saying management HAS changed but I still won’t be using your services (provided you can prove you are from take 2).

The email provided by the “employee” was from a yahoo address so I contacted the employ via email to allow her to prove she was in fact who she said she was. She replied with ample proof she worked for take2. So the “employee” was actually an employee.

The conversation then continued via email… well it was not really a conversation. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, my reply to her verification only came what was already weekend time for her. So I have not yet received any response from what I said in the email:

I will put an update at the top of the post saying:

“Note: This was over 4 years ago, so it may not be fair to still hold this against them. A current employee of Take 2 has contacted me and told me that management has changed since then. If management has changed it may be fair to assume that how they treat customers has changed. I hope so but I would like to claim I have the courage convictions and say that I won’t be going back to find out.”

You might not think so but this is me coming to a compromise. I would just like to note that no such compromise was even attempted to be made when dealing with me. No compromise nor any apology was ever made – and now an attempt to make peace has only happened because it’s probably what shows up when you search for take 2. From where I stand the attempt to make peace has only happened because the balance of power has shifted slightly. I seriously doubt you would have contacted me if my site was result #30. But that’s it, rant over.

Apologies I can’t give you what you want (assuming what you want is for me to take the post down). You really do seem like a nice person. I really do want to give you what you want but I have to keep reminding myself that I am also a nice person and was being a nice person when this happened.

Then the more I think about it, the more I feel like I pussied out, the more I feel like I became a supplicant… but also the more I think about it, the two main points I made in the last two paragraphs solidify themselves in my thoughts:

No compromise, nor any apology was even attempted to be made with me. An attempt to make peace only happened because the balance of power has shifted meaning the post in question is what shows up when you search for take 2 thereby harming their public image.

They did approach me in a civil and non-antagonistic manner so I feel compelled to comply, however, on the other hand originally back then my approach was, knowing myself, more than likely even more civil and non-antagonistic.

By accessing the mind’s installed principle core, I know that there are two things that need to be done. I need to stay true to myself and I need to keep my word. In this case staying true to myself means sticking by what I said, having the courage of my convictions and keeping the post in the original form. An in this case, keeping my word means posting an errata at the top of the post. A moral conflict. A compromise needs to be made. An extract of my moral core can be seen on my other site and it states: “Some things you should never compromise on, one of them being yourself.

This is the result of the compromise.

Do you ever think the reality around you might not be the real one?

I do.

Not all the time, sometimes. It’s happened once or twice in public but private places. For example when I go to pee in the office toilet and it’s empty. While I am peeing away, I sometimes get a few seconds for my mind to wander*. If I happen to close my eyes  my mind sometimes stops on: “Am I really in the office? Am I maybe peeing in public on the side of a lamp post?”.

This usually only happens when I am really tired, but it did get me thinking. How do we know we really are here? How do we know we are, who we say we are? You get crazy homeless guys that believe themselves Jesus. Yet in reality they are just dirty, smelly, crazy homeless guys. This makes me think you might not actually know you’re insane if you are insane. If that is true, how do I, or you for that matter, REALLY know that you are not a crazy guy who believes he is someone else. How do I know I’m not a crazy guy who believes he is someone called Gerard Lucienne Petersen. How do I know that this blog not is just in my head, and me typing right now is not just me hitting the ground with a stick? It’s true that I may also draw a comic called Space Panda, but how do I know that it’s not drawn in my own shit?

If I am the only one that thinks this, my only consolation is that I am insane enough to know that I may be insane or at least have the capacity to be even more insane.

NOTES:

*I have never written the word “wander” down prior to this. I really enjoyed the experience


Fortune favours the brain

I didn’t really want to write a blog post. Technically I should be designing a site for my new project. But hey…. what can you do?

The intended outcome of the post I didn’t want to write was that you would think me smart and awesome. So I was going to pretend to write a post about how times have changed. About how society prizes those who had physical strength and brawn but now intelligence and the mind is what is more highly sought after. The punchline of the article was going to be that it used to be “Fortune favours the brave” but now in today’s climate it’s  “Fortune favours the brain”. (That’s not to say that the old saying is no longer relevant).

Awesome huh? I think it’s awesome. I think it’s awesome because I took an age old saying, modified it slightly by changing two letters and created profound meaning.

This is one for my quotation site.

Chocolate is good for colds and flu

According a body of research, scientists have proven that chocolate is good for colds and flu. Tests indicate that due to a combination of chemical reactions that occur in the body when a flu or cold virus is active, specific enzymes in the chocolate previously thought to be dormant have now been found to be activated. The enzyme group in question known as Cocoaleases helps speed up the production of white blood cells thereby boosting the body’s immune system.

A child recovering from flu

When asked, a representative from the research group said, “Chocolate is good, but it’s not a substitute for Vitamin C, and good old fashioned rest”.