Goal Orientated Thinking

It’s quite strange. Recently I have been finding a lot of things to be a chore. Things that should not be a chore have somehow become a chore. Reading for example. I have a book that I bought… two actually, Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion and a book called the myths of innovation. I bought both of those books because I want to read them. Now that I have them I feel I have to sit down with them and read them. It must be done, I see it as something that I just need to get through. Like something I just need to tick off a list. Same with video and movies that I have. I feel I need to get throught it. It must be done. The TED talks for an example. I’m subscribed up to the TED podcast. I find a lot of interesting talks on there. Almost all of talk I have watched are thought provoking. Knowledge-wise I am richer having watched it… but yet, I find it a chore to sit down and watch them. I feel the need to watch them. It as though my life is some kind of shopping list.

Gerard’s Life:

  • Go to School
  • Get a Degree
  • Get a Job
  • Get a Girlfriend
  • Start an online service
  • Become really successful
  • Profit

Then everyday is a checklist too:

  • Wake up
  • Shower
  • Brush your teeth
  • Pee in the shower
  • Use housemate’s shampoo
  • Get dressed
  • Buy coffee and a muffin
  • Buy lunch
  • Pick up news paper
  • Skim read news paper
  • Read Star Signs
  • Get off train
  • Have a cigarette
  • Take a taxi to the office

I just noticed that I have two problems as opposed to only the one I thought I had. The one I just noticed being bigger than the original one of seeing much of life as a set of tasks with a tick box next to it. The second problem being that nothing on my day to day checklist puts me any closer to my life goals.

I usually stop writing when I come to a realisation about my behaviour or realise how I can fix something. I have already reached a realisation. I always thought something will happen and TADAA… I am now successful! But looking that the discrepancy between the two lists, I realise now nothing will get done unless I actually work towards it. It’s a simple concept I know.  I have always known this concept to be true, but now I actually understand what it means. I think I assumed that you would automatically work towards your goals and things you wanted badly enough. Looking at the two lists, this does not necessarily hold true. Nothing on my daily list is getting me any closer to my life list.

If the last few posts are a trend, there seems to be a common theme among my realisations – I know a lot of stuff to be true and live my life by them but I don’t understand them fully. That is until I take the time to actually think about them.

So I want to stop here even though I have not addressed the problem of seeing life as a task list. Which I think is a bigger problem and one that requires a level of thought and understanding which I have no idea about. I will have to come back to it.